He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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