I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize