She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
