I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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