Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
