Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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