This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
