She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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