Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
