Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
