She announced her abortion via fbk
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
