Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
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I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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