guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
