You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
