Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize