if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
