found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
