Define "chronic" masturbator.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
