I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
