It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
