Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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