You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
