i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
