Whod you bang
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
