he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
