Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
