I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
