I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
