craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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