no. you can't hotbox the world.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
