Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
