I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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