No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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