have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
either way he was missing a nipple.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
