It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
