It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
