Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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