I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
