i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
