Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
