she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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