dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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