I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize