So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
