youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
