So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize