whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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