So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
