That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
