I think i peed on brittanys purse
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He passed out mid-signature
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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