R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Non-Jews are for practice
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
