Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My ATM looks so different sober.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
