he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Randomize
