what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I am naked and annoyed.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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