Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
