fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
