I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
