Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
