I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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