This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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