Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
